Forget

I forgot and held you up high again. I gave in to seductive expectation. I forgot how little I matter.

Who fails who when it is I who forget?

I fail me.

Because I forget all the times you have showed me who you really are. I forget all the times I let you let me down.

This awful amnesia.

I forget how it feels to be cracked open with all your hurts and insecurities pouring out in an old, familiar, ever-worsening, heart-wrenching pain.

And when I remember I am at fault again. Because instead of you, it is myself I blame.