A Letter to Mr Right

Mr Right,



Hello there, how are you? That's a rhetorical question, because at this point in time I really don't care. I'm writing this to tell you that if ever you find me, for the first few months of our 'romance' you are going to be in big trouble. You OWE me! But seriously, where are you, and why are you taking so long?



According to everyone else, I am not LOOKING hard enough. I'm not sure what the term 'looking' means though... maybe it's like shopping for the perfect pair of shoes. Try a pair on, and then another one, and then find one that you fall in love with and that fits. Unfortunately, my commitment to a pair of shoes would be pretty short-lived. There are always new pairs of shoes that catch my eye... uncomfortables ones, sensible ones, flashy ones, too-dear ones, unattainable ones, ones that are the wrong colour, ones that belong to someone else... You get where I'm heading, right?



And then there's that whole deal with being 'fixed-up'. What is that about anyway? While in theory I have no argument with the idea, in reality I am a bit pyschotic in that respect. I admit it. I am unreasonable when it comes to being part of a match-making project. In my mind I end up envisioning a prize bull being introduced to a prize cow - not that I am any kind of prize!



What I don't understand at all is the looks of pity that are directed my way when people in the throes of coupled-ness bliss throw my way. 'Don't worry honey, you will find someone of your own soon.'



Uh, thanks.



Don't get me wrong. I would love for you to come into my life, so that we can embark on an adventure that will be very new to me (and boy had you better assist in making it an adventure!), but I am enjoying my life the way it is. Changes are welcome, if they improve it, but I really don't feel I am lacking in anything. I wouldn't mind a little more time and money to travel, but hey, a girl can't have EVERYTHING.



I am not leading a colourless existence, yearning for you to come along and paint bright rainbows on a dreary canvas, or whatever other miracles you are supposedly going to bring with you. If you come along, I will welcome the experience. But you will have to pay for your tardiness. Not because I have been waiting - I haven't really. But because of all I have had to hear in the interim. Because of all the awkward situations I have somewhat enjoyed (I know, I am psychotic) when others have tried to pair someone who is not you, with me. Because of the explanations I have to give when someone I am introduced to is a pale version of what I hope you will be. Because of all the Mr-Wrongs-but-in-the-end-a-great-learning-experience I have had the joy of admiring, getting to know, and having great but rather awkward friendships with.



So when you arrive, Mr Right, be ready. I'm already not amused with you!



Ms Single-and-don't-give-a-damn.