Full Moon

The moon hangs full and low tonight. It's odd. The people in this sleepy village claim that crazy things happen here when the moon is full. The smallest madness in a being gets magnified, and explodes to the surface. Tears roll slowly down her face as she laughs at the thought.

The yellow orb reflects unsteadily on the waves. From this distance their sound is a gentle splashing, but they look fierce and strong and undecided. Like a madman unsure of his goal. They seem to have an almost thick, viscous texture as they roll up on the shore. They seem hungry, their mouths wide open - nipping at the young couple ambling in the sand hand-in-hand, nearly swallowing up the old man walking his dog, and slyly edging towards the little girl holding fast to her father's hand. A little giggle escapes her - despite the hand she has fisted against her mouth.

What a fanciful thought... lunar insanity. She feels the rain on her bare feet as she walks towards the edge. The drops make cleansing splatters on her bloody feet. The light from the moon hits her face, and makes the rivers down her face glisten. And as she steps off the cliff, she falls with the knowledge that it hasn't rained.

She's been crying.

Under the Sea

In a cacophony of watery blues, a solitary specimen of different fish flit here and there among the spiky sea urchins, and lumbering coral and rock formations. Just as the clouds part, and the light warbles softly into the gently unsettled water, a large school of fish glitters into the periphery of my vision.

The fish are a mischievous bunch of black and white stripes, olive green and cornflower blue. The light glints off their shiny bodies in motion, creating a vision so beautiful, I am awestruck... spellbound. And amazingly, I can relate them to another sight I saw not long before on land... A totally different life form, in a totally different element. The light dancing off each fish onto the next as they make their way in the sea, creates a view very much like falling leaves in autumn... it's one of those rare cases of nature imitating nature.

And for that very brief moment... I am confused as to where I really am...

That Night

The healing began that night.

The inky waves rolled up against the shore, and she sat, transfixed. The moon smiled wisely in a twinkling sky, and as she gazed out at sea she couldn't quite make out where the sea ended and the sky began. The breeze ruffled her hair, and the blaze from the fire armed her against its chill. The sounds of the waves breaking mingled with clear voices that sang into the night. They sang songs long forgotten; resuscitating the hopes and yearnings of her youth. Her heart expanded, and a slow smile spread from her belly up to her face.

If there was ever a time and place to let go, this was it. The knowledge and certainty of this filled her. There was power and magic all around, and she knew too, that the dreams she dreamt tonight would come true.

She gazed across the fire to a face that mirrored her own. It was full of wonder, and hope renewed - like her own. With silent consent they stood up and walked towards the water together. As she waded into the cool water, the waves threw her off balance for a moment. She knew a split second of fear and uncertainty. Just a split second - and then a hand grasped hers. Firmly. Tightly. And in that moment she began to trust again.

Retrospect

There are many things that you look back upon, and think, 'Aaah, so that's why it happened to me!', or, 'That's what I learned from it!' I'm not sure whether it's because everything happens for a reason, or that we become adept at justifying. We are a species with both logic and emotion (well most of us have both, I hope!), and because of this, I believe we always try and 'make sense' of things.

I'm not sure how far you can make sense of many things... I always believed that I, personally, was ruled by logic. Of late, I can lay no claims to this. I have discovered pride, and hurt, and how it feels when your pride is hurt (hehe). I now understand desperation, and the urge to hurt someone in the same way that they have hurt you. While I didn't fully succumb to this urge, I can definitely empathise now.

One of my favourite phrases is, 'The more the shit, the more fertilised your fields'. So am going to chalk all these unsavoury situations to experience, and believe that all the lessons that I am learning - that I don't KNOW I am learning - will make me an even better person in the very near (please!) future.

So right now, I will admit, I am in an ocean demanding logic and reason, and I don't know where to begin. Only time will tell, and as much as I want to rush time... well I can't really do that, can I?