Bye Bye, Doormat.

I'd like to begin by saying I am no flawless saint. If I was a cruise ship, my name would be Titanic: I am THAT flawed and prone to disaster. But I sincerely believe I am a good person. I try. And sometimes fail. But I do try. And I don't expect anyone to make excuses for my faults, and adjust their actions and behaviour according to what suits me. That, I believe is grossly unfair. I respect people's opinions, and criticisms, and take things with an open mind. And once told something, I think over it as objectively as I can. And if I feel the need to change, I really try to.

That being said, a lot has happened in my life in the last few months, and while I take full responsibility for all my actions, other people have been cavalier, and disrespectful with my feelings. And while there was a time I would have sat back and taken a defeatist attitude, and thrown my hands in the air and said 'I can only control what I do', that is certainly not what I do now. I scream. I shout. I cry. I speak out. And THEN I throw my hands in the air and say, 'I can only control what I do. AND I don't have to take the shit other people throw at me.'

The doormat me has gone. Forever, I hope. And I refuse to listen to the people who tell me that I need to rearrange my path because of their screw-ups. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. I'm living my life for me now, and if you think that's selfish, you're welcome to do so. But think about it: I can only be of good to someone else if I'm taken care of... and ONLY I CAN TAKE CARE OF ME.

I'm working on the screaming and shouting and crying though. It's very unattractive.

P.S. I'm sorry for saying 'Shit', but somehow 'Faeces' didn't have the same impact.